His Secret Child Read online

  “And mommy too?” My daughter looked up at me hopefully with a light shining in her eyes. For her I would lie.

  She didn’t need to know that I would just as soon chuck her fuck of a mother out a damn window.

  Before I could answer her though, Zania opened her mouth and risked fucking life and limb.

  “We can stay at the motel.” She started her shit, but if she knew what was good for her, she would shut the fuck up.

  “Are you referring to that delightful place I took you from? You must be mistaken. Are you implying that I would allow you to take my child to such a place?”

  I tried to keep the venom out of my voice and temper my words for the child’s sake, but she was too fucking much.

  “You’re free to stay wherever you choose of course, but Mia stays with me in my home.” The look I gave her warned her to keep her fucking mouth shut and she had the good sense to comply.

  “Yes Mia, mommy will be staying with us as well.” I worded it that way purposely so she’d know what she had to look forward to.

  From now on I will be the one in charge where our daughter was concerned. She was just along at my sufferance, which was going to be very short lived if she didn’t stop getting on my fucking nerves with her opinions.

  I held and whispered to my daughter until she drifted off again. I could’ve put her in the bedroom on the jet, but I wasn’t quite ready to part with her yet.

  I liked the weight of her warm little body cuddled on my lap. I looked down at her little head and that face so like mine.

  I wasn’t a father twenty-four hours yet, and already I was consumed with love for her. Where I’d once come to believe that I would never own that emotion again, I was suddenly overwhelmed by it.

  I had the wayward thought that this was an entirely different kind of love to the one I’d once borne her mother, but I brushed that aside. I had no interest in revisiting the scene of my perfidy.

  I made sure that she was really asleep before addressing her mother. My emotions were all over the place and I felt like my head would explode.

  I needed to lash out at someone or something, and since she was the one responsible, I think it only fair that she bear the brunt of that shit.

  “I think it only fair to warn you, as soon as I’ve had the test done and all that I need to do for her out of the way, I’m contacting a lawyer. I’m going to take my child away from you.”

  Fair my ass. I was out to crush her in anyway possible, starting now. Hateful and petty yes, but she had to know out the gate that she was not going to get over on me again.

  “You’re not taking her back to that hovel. You might have spurned me, and what I had to offer, but she is mine, she stays.”

  I could tell that my words had thrown her, but what the fuck did she expect? Had she really believed it would be that easy? Fuck that.

  “You can’t do that, I didn’t come looking for you so you could steal my child.”

  “Keep your fucking voice down. And yes I can and I will. And think about this, no judge in their right mind will give a child in her condition to an obviously unfit mother.”

  I had no way of knowing if she were unfit or not, other than the fact that she would rather raise my kid in poverty than allow me to provide for her.

  The thought of how much she must actually hate me to have done such a thing made me see red. “Have you any idea how much I despise you?” Fuck I’m repeating myself, this bitch was in more danger than even I had expected.

  She sat back in her seat and feigned an interest in the view outside the window, while new rage burned just beneath the surface of my skin, and threatened to overflow.

  I satisfied myself with the knowledge that my daughter was here now, and that I had the means to take care of her.

  My heart grew heavy at the thought of all she would endure. From what little the doctor had had time to tell me, it was going to be a grueling few weeks ahead, but at least there was hope.

  I didn’t dwell too long on the fact that the only reason I was even holding my little girl right now is because she might need a part of me to survive, that her mother most likely had never had any plans on contacting me ever with the news of my fatherhood.

  “Tomorrow, I go for my tests. If they don’t have to keep Mia overnight, you two will stay home until I return. You are not allowed to take her anywhere without me. I will hire someone to make sure of that.”

  I smirked at her as she fidgeted in her seat. There was some of that old fire in her eyes from before, that fiery passion that she’d always tried to hide from the world, that I was always able to draw out of her once I had her beneath me.

  My cock throbbed and I hated her for it. How could she still have any kind of a hold on me after all this? I looked away from her and held my daughter closer.

  She was all that was important now, nothing else mattered but getting her well and then making sure she had the best life I could provide. Hopefully it will erase the horror of her first five years of life.

  I begrudgingly admitted to myself however that she didn’t seem any worst for wear having been raised as she had been. She seemed a happy enough kid, even with a debilitating illness eating away at her.

  I kissed her soft little head as I made a promise in my head and heart. ‘Daddy will always take care of you little one, always.’

  I didn’t let myself think about what could go wrong, didn’t dwell on the negative. In a year or so I will look back on the situation and sweat, but right now there was no time for that.

  Zania’s stomach growled, drawing my attention to her and of course she was embarrassed.

  “When is the last time you’ve eaten?” She looked beaten down and worn as she sat huddled in the seat across from me. The old coat she wore looked like it was a couple sizes too big and should’ve been tossed a couple decades ago.

  “Yesterday sometime I think.” Why that should piss me off I don’t know, but it did. “How can you take care of her if you’re not well?” The words came out harsh and accusatory and she flinched.

  “There wasn’t much time. After they told me that I wasn’t a match I...I could only focus on getting here and finding you. There was no time to spare.”

  “Bullshit, you could’ve grabbed a sandwich or something. If you get ill, faint, or any of that other shit that females do, I will step right over you. My only interest is in her, so I would look after myself while you’re here if I were you.”

  She bit her lip and looked close to tears again. I wish I could ease up, but the anger was too fresh, too new and there was a fuck load of it.

  Her face was still a little red where I’d hit her before and I felt a little sick to my stomach that I had done that, but I soon brushed that aside as well. She deserved worst for what the fuck she had done.

  “I hope you made arrangements to be here for the long haul because she’s going to need you...”

  “I might have to go back and forth, my job.”

  “Quit.” She looked at me open mouthed.

  “I can’t just quit, I need that job, we need that money and the insurance and....”

  “Right now she needs you, nothing else matters. You will be here every second until she’s well again. After that you can join a caravan for all I give a fuck, but until she’s out of the woods, your place is here.

  Trust me, I wish it could be different, but this isn’t about what you or I want, it’s about her.”

  Yes, that fire was still there no matter how much she tried to control herself. If she could, she would spit in my eye for sure, but too bad for her I had the upper hand this time and I planned to keep it.

  I didn’t miss the folded fists and the set to her mouth, neither of which fazed me one fucking bit. She must be mad to think that she still had any say.

  “Look, if we’re going to do this we have to be at least civil to each other for her sake. This fighting and animosity isn’t good for her and....”

  “Shut...the fuck...up.” Was she reall
y about to give me advice? I think she’d fallen and hit her head sometime in the last six years that she’d been away from me.

  She knew very well how I dealt with my enemies. She’d seen me in action more than once during our ill-fated union.

  She couldn’t possibly see herself as anything but my enemy now; so she should know not to expect any quarter from me. Nothing but her blood in my teeth will do to satisfy me.

  “You seem to be operating under the delusion that I give a fuck what you think so let me disannul you of that notion once and for all so there are no more mix-ups in the future.

  You have no say, none. You kept her away from me all these years now you’ll see what that shit feels like. But the difference between you and I dear Zania, is that unlike you, I won’t lose her again. Whereas your days are numbered.”

  “I won’t just let you take her from me...”

  “Oh you wanna fight? Excellent, I look forward to it. I can’t wait to pick over your fucking rotting carcass when it’s all said and done.”

  I closed my eyes and laid my head back, signaling an end to our little sparring match. Since she seemed to want to take me on, I was more than willing to oblige her.

  There was so much I wanted to do to her after all. I can go back in memory and drag out all the little scenarios I’d played out in my head back in those early days after she’d gutted me. I use to come up with some good shit back then.

  I never thought to be given the chance to exact vengeance in this lifetime, but now that she was here I don’t see why the fuck I shouldn’t get some of mine back.

  The fact that my thoughts showed that I wasn’t truly over her after all these years was of no significance.

  I just have to find a way to destroy the mother without harming the child, but for sure she was on that short list. Conniving bitch.

  Chapter 4

  I had a car waiting once we landed, and I rushed to get in out of the wind and cold. Mia was finally stirring and I noticed she felt a little warm to the touch.

  “She’s running a fever.” There was a sick panic in my voice, but Zania was very calm as she reached over to check for herself.

  “It’s not that bad I have her medicine.” She rummaged through her bag for the pills and a little bottle of water. I resented the fuck out of her ease, the way she was so calm as she did this.

  She’d had time to process all of this, time to come to terms with it I guess you could say, while this was my new nightmare.

  To find a child and face almost losing her in the same day is not a thing I would wish on my worse enemy.

  “Take us to Memorial General.” My little girl opened her eyes and looked up at me and I wondered at the resilience of children.

  Here she was with a complete stranger, whom she seems to have accepted as her father without too much fanfare.

  She had so much of me in that little package that it hurt my heart. I smiled down at her to hide the nagging fear that was threatening to swallow me whole.

  It’s funny, but I don’t recall being afraid of anything in a long fucking time. For her I felt fear, because as much as I would like to, I couldn’t take the pain away.

  “You’ll be fine soon beautiful girl just rest for daddy okay.” She smiled and hugged her little arms around me, cuddling closer.

  I couldn’t resist sending her mother a victorious smirk at this show of affection, as I wondered just what the hell she must be thinking, feeling, at this turn of events.

  There was a part of me, that now, as it had been in the beginning, wanted to go easy on her, but that shit didn’t live long. Just one look at her was enough to bring the rage to the forefront.

  The car pulled up in front of the hospital not long after. “We’re here, the doctor said he’d call ahead and he was faxing over her files so there shouldn’t be any problems.”

  With my precious bundle held tightly in my arms I made my way towards the towering building and left her to follow at her own pace.

  Inside the hospital they were ready for us. It had been suggested that we wait for tomorrow to run the test on me, but I wasn’t willing to put it off if it could be helped. I needed to know what, how and when. I’ll deal with the why later.

  They took Mia to be looked over and to get her registered with them. All her paperwork had been transferred already as promised, so they had a handle on things.

  The specialist who I had been assured was the best in the field will be here soon, but right now it was time for me to roll up my sleeves and see if I had what it takes to heal my child.

  ***

  It took hours, and then at the end they wanted to keep her. I wasn’t thrilled about that, but they reassured me that it was just a precaution and I settled down.

  “Would you like daddy to read you a story Princess?” I saw Zania react out the corner of my eye. That used to be my name for her.

  I glared at her as she sat on the chair next to the bed while I sat on the bed holding Mia. It would be a frosty fucking day in hades before I ever called her anything that beautiful again. Bitch troll from hell was more like it.

  It occurred to me that my behavior could be construed as that of a petty petulant teenager, again I didn’t give half a fuck. It’s how the fuck I felt, and until I no longer felt that way, it is what it is.

  It wasn’t lost on me that I am working at cross purposes here; that one side of my heart was now full of love for my little daughter, while the other was clouded with the dark hate and whatever the fuck it was that I felt for her mother.

  “Yes daddy could you?” I’d never done anything like this in my life, but I’d just been poked and prodded to hell and back; one little story wasn’t going to faze me.

  There was a whole wall of books to choose from, so I just reached over and plucked one up. If things didn’t go as planned and she needed t be here longer than they thought, we were going to need a private room for her. Her little immune system was very compromised already and....

  I couldn’t think of it, refused to dwell on that shit. I was here now and as her father it was my duty to take care of her and see that no harm came to her.

  I held her that much closer as my thoughts chased each other in my head, all the while hoping and praying that it wasn’t too late. If it was, I was sure that Zania wouldn’t survive intact. I might have been able to forgive her the other eventually, but not that, not if my child couldn’t be saved.

  I have no idea what I read to her, I just knew she seemed to enjoy it; and when she said ‘daddy read another one’, I thought I would weep like a fucking girl.

  I didn’t want to leave her, didn’t want to let her out of my sight, but she was getting tired and needed her rest.

  We left the hospital after I found someone I was sure would be willing to keep me posted no matter what. There was always one of those around when you needed them.

  Mine was an elder grandmotherly type who worked the night shift as an RN. It wasn’t like I was asking for special treatment for my kid...who the fuck am I kidding? Yes the fuck I was.

  But she seemed to understand my angst and was full of reassurance. I gave her all my contact numbers just in case and extracted a promise that she’d call me no matter what time it was if something was wrong with my little girl.

  I barely remembered Zania was there until we got back to the car and she stood there next to the door like she wasn’t sure what to do next.

  “Get in.” She looked like she wanted to argue, and with Mia safely out of the line of fire I wished the bitch would piss me off so I could let her have it.

  I needed an outlet for the anger that was riding me hard and she was perfect. I squelched the little kernel of compassion that tried to rear its little head when I saw how tired and scared she looked.

  She’s lucky I didn’t fucking kill her on sight. She had the good sense to get in the damn car and keep her mouth shut.

  I had a fuck load of things to take care of before morning. Luckily my big deal had already been finalized
and there wasn’t anything too pressing on the agenda for the next little while.

  I called my office where I was sure my assistant would still be hard at work for another hour at least. “Janet I need you to clear my calendar for the next two weeks at least. I won’t be there tomorrow so anything that crops up shoot it over to me via email and I’ll take care of it.”

  “Yes sir, is everything okay? Your mother, as well as Ms. Foster, called a couple of times.”

  “Yeah I had my phone off, I’ll get back to them now, not to worry.” I wasn’t looking forward to talking to Camille, but I guess good manners required it of me.

  That was going to be another issue, maybe the one that would finally decide the fate of our relationship. Not that I hadn’t already made up my mind, she was out, but would she leave quietly or start some shit?

  I didn’t have the time or the inclination to think about her right now though. Right now my only interest was in the little angel I’d just left in a lonely hospital bed.

  We sat in silence on the drive to my home. I saw her look of surprise as I headed in a completely different direction from where I lived before.

  When we’d met, I was still living at my ancestral home. It was a separate apartment, but mom had always wanted me close and I’d been young enough and carefree enough to give into her wants.

  After this one had gone I couldn’t stand to even look at the place. Mom had tried talking me into moving back into the great house but I couldn’t.

  Instead I’d found myself a new place on the other side of town. Still upscale, but given more to condos and luxury apartments, than mansions.

  Chapter 5

  My new home wasn’t exactly family friendly and though it had always served its purpose as a renowned bachelor pad, I now looked at it through the eyes of a father.

  It seemed barren and desolate somehow with its modern minimalist crap that the decorator had talked me into. It reflected perfectly, the place that I was in after the number this one pulled on me.

  I wanted more for my little girl though. I wanted a backyard with a swing and trees where the birds could sit and sing outside her window in the mornings.