The Crush Read online

  NICK

  I wanted everyone gone now, but if I went out there issuing orders, more than a few people will start asking questions. Instead I took the opportunity to cool my ardor somewhat while I bided my time. I stayed out of people’s way because I was in no mood to entertain anyone. All I wanted was to have her beneath me for a long fucking time. My dick seemed to know that it was all systems go and he wasn’t known for his etiquette on a good day. I hope she knew what the night was going to hold. Maybe in her mind she saw candlelight dinners and walks on the beach.

  I’m more than willing to give her that shit, but later, much later. Like after I’d slaked my lust on her sweet as fuck body until we were both satisfied and had sealed the deal so to speak. She wanted a baby, fuck, and why the fuck was I okay with that shit? Any other woman had so much as even hinted at that particular subject and she would’ve been gone. Not so my little Lolita, she mentioned wanting my seed and my dick started doing handsprings.

  I avoided my dad because there was no guilt and I was pretty sure there should be some. I had a lot to think about before the night was over. We’d reached the point of no return even though I hadn’t touched her yet, the die had been cast and she’d put herself in my path. She wanted to bear my seed.

  Who would’ve thought that those words would have such an affect on me? I never once gave any thought to such things; they were always for a later time. But now all I can think about is breeding the fuck out of her, especially the fucking it was going to take to get her that way.

  I was glad as fuck that she’d found the courage to say what she had, if I’d pushed I probably would’ve had some guilt later on, feeling like I’d taken advantage. This way she had thrown it out there, now I’ll take it from here. Not that I was in the habit of waiting for someone else to make the first move, but this situation was different. There was a lot of shit to consider with this thing that I wouldn’t necessarily have had to deal with in any other scenario. I had more love for her for one than I’ve ever had for another female, felt more of a responsibility.

  There was still her schooling and shit to think about. I don’t think our parents would appreciate her leaving school to settle down with me, but if we’re gonna do this, there’s no way she’s going away, fuck that. I’ll just have to find a way to get them on board. I was pretty sure that her happiness was all that they were interested in anyway, and I was more than capable of taking care of her and any kids we might have.

  I can’t believe I’m actually sitting here thinking about this shit. Now that the doubts had been cleared up and there were no barriers in the way, I wanted to get shit moving. Fuck, barriers, right on the heels of that thought was another, one that had me leaving my chair in a hurry and going in search of her again. She was talking to one of our family’s many acquaintances when I approached her and took her arm. Lucky for her there wasn’t a swinging dick anywhere in her immediate area, I’m not sure I could’ve taken much more of that shit today.

  “Excuse us a minute will you Mrs. James?” I didn’t wait for an answer but pulled her aside and out of earshot. “Are you a virgin?” Don’t ask me why the thought that she might not be pissed me the fuck off. I was nowhere near innocent after all, but I’m honest enough to admit that that shit mattered to me. If that blonde fuck had had her I’d bury his ass in the dunes.

  “Of course I am, I’ve always known…” She broke off whatever it was she’d been about to divulge but I had a pretty good idea. How the fuck had she kept that shit hidden so well all these years? I’ll have to ask her later, right now I needed to get out of there before I gave myself away. The thought of all she had waiting for me was suddenly too much, and a room full of people was nowhere for me to be right now.

  “I have to go, I’ll come for you later.” I barely restrained myself from touching her in some way, and not for the first time seriously wondered what the fuck she had zapped me with. PDAs are not my thing, but then again, nothing about this shit is the norm for me.

  “I can just drive over to your place.” She followed my lead of keeping our voices to a whisper.

  “No, we’re gonna do this right. I’ll come pick you up and take you home with me, pack a bag. And Melanie, if you change your mind between now and then it’s not gonna make a difference. I will take you. Stay away from the boy.” I’d given her more than enough chances in the last few days and she’d still kept up her campaign; now it was too late for both of us.

  ***

  I left after a quick goodbye and some half assed excuse to my dad and her mom, who didn’t make much of a deal out of my leaving seeing as how most of the people in attendance were her school friends. I had a bad moment when I remembered the way those assholes had been hanging around her, but that one last peep at her before I left had shown her surrounded by her girls.

  My mind was in free-fall as I drove through the streets to my penthouse on the other end of the beach. I think I might have to move soon, and what the fuck was I thinking? She wants a baby Nick you heard her. You can’t raise a kid here; the little shits need a backyard. I had obviously lost my fucking mind because the thought of her disrupting my life to such a degree did not break me out in a sweat. I haven’t held a sensible thought since she started her shit. She’s turned me into a blithering idiot.

  I found myself grinning like an ass as I headed up to my place with the phone to my ear, already setting things in motion for her overnight stay. I was excited as fuck and don’t ask me why, because the girl was about to make waves in my otherwise orderly life. For the first time though, since my mom passed when I was fifteen, I actually felt something more than the usual humdrum that life had to offer.

  I’d buried myself in school and then getting my trading business off the ground after, anything to take my mind off the loss. The women that came and went in my life were more passing interests and warm bodies than actual companions. Something that I made abundantly clear in the beginning of each little fling I’d had over the years.

  Not once in all these years has there ever been any danger of me losing my heart. I had that shit too well insulated for that fuckery, so it wasn’t lost on me that she’d snuck in under my guard and it hadn’t even taken much effort. Maybe it was my preexisting feelings for her, maybe it was the shock of seeing the real her up close and personal out of nowhere, with no warning. I don’t know how she did it, but fuck if she doesn’t have me thinking boy or girl?

  A few phone calls later the clock had barely wound down, and I was getting antsy. I looked over my place trying to see what she would see when she walked through those doors for the first time as my woman, and it needed work. There was nothing remotely feminine about my place. In fact it was as though I’d gone out of my way to make it as uncomfortable for the opposite sex as possible. A therapist would have fun with that shit but later for that.

  I had a few deliveries made that I had to shell out big bucks for since everything was so last minute, but I didn’t care. Suddenly her happiness was the only thing that mattered. I wanted to make shit right for her, give her what I thought she deserved. The vagina that I had grown in the last couple of hours was starting to itch. What the fuck?

  There were moments in the ensuing hours, while I waited for the clock to run down ‘til crunch time, that I had to stop and check that this shit was real and that I was really gonna go through with it. It felt more fictitious than real, and I had to force myself more than once not to run back there and grab her.

  It seemed beyond reason that yesterday she was the little sister I had come to love, and tonight I was going to make her my lover and more. I wonder if she knows what she was getting herself into, if she understands what being mine would mean for the rest of her life? Poor thing.

  I might not have actively searched for a wife, but I knew exactly what I wanted mine to be. Not many women would be able to deal with my shit, and she was still so young…too late though. She had made her bed, now there was no choice but for her to lie in it. The sooner I get my
kid in her the better. I’m thinking once we get that shit taken care of, all the rest will fall into place. I hope she can keep up with my ass though, because life as she knows it is about to change in a big fucking way.

  Chapter 3

  MELANIE

  I have sweaty palms and a racing heart as I sit here waiting for his return. He’d called a few minutes ago to make sure things here had died down enough for me to leave my own party. It was just like our parents to throw a welcome home party for me after my first year away, they were so proud of my achievements. I battled back the guilt once more and told myself that all will be well.

  That was one of the things that had given me pause in the beginning; that I might be disappointing them with the choices I’ve made. It was hard, knowing that they might not be happy for me, for us, but in this I couldn’t give them what they wanted, since it would mean giving up the one thing I longed for so badly.

  It had taken lots of soul searching and many a sleepless night, along with a stern talking to from my bestie, but I had come to the conclusion that it was best for me to go after my dreams instead of trying to please everyone else.

  Ever since about the age of sixteen, whenever I close my eyes at night, all I see is he and I together. In the beginning it had seemed like a hopeless dream, something that would never come to be. Nicki was handsome and successful. Women loved and adored him, old and young, I’ve seen it constantly. I on the other hand could always easily fade into the wallpaper and no one would even notice.

  Though he’d been kind to me always, there was never any danger of him falling passionately in love with me, as I sometimes daydreamed he would. I was by far too shy anyway, and was prone to stammering and falling all over my feet when in his presence. I admit I was never anyone’s idea of a sex symbol, and for a long time I was mad at him for not seeing me as anything more than what the eye portrayed. Silly I know. I wanted him to see something that I was trying so hard to keep hidden.

  I do know he likes my mind and my drive though, so at least we’ll have something to talk about. We’d had quite a few conversations over the years, when he’d blessed me with his presence on those rare occasions that he was in one place for more than a few seconds, slight exaggeration but not by much. And by the time I had grown out of my awkward stage and was actually able to breathe in his presence, those times were like manna for my soul.

  Now I wanted nothing more than to bear his children and keep his home, it’s all I’ve ever really wanted. No career goals for me, and that was okay, except for what the parents were gonna have to say about it. It seems like I’ve waited forever to be his in every way possible, and somehow I knew that if I waited much longer, I ran the risk of losing him to someone else, that was a risk I was no longer willing to take.

  That’s why I had chosen this time to make my move, although I had tried to be as subtle as possible in the off chance that he didn’t return my feelings. Dana had been sure that if I went for it there was no way he would be able to resist me, but I hadn’t been too sure; until last night that is. The flash of tit had been a good choice and I’d come up with it all on my own.

  So far he’d been able to resist everything I threw at him, even to the point of acting as though he wasn’t even aware of me in that way. But after my little stunt, I realized that it had all been an act. Not only was he interested, he had been very aware. The heated look he’d given me had been proof of that.

  It was the first chink in his armor, the first move that told me I was finally getting to him. That maybe, just maybe, all my prayers would be answered. Now it’s about to happen. It had been a long grueling battle but it was so worth it. I felt the doubts creep in again but forced them away again. Everything will work out it had to. I don’t think I would survive it they didn’t.

  The last year away I hadn’t neglected my studies, but I was even surer during the separation, that he was what I really wanted. I’d barely been able to sleep or eat those first few weeks; I’d missed him so much. At home, even though I didn’t see him every day, I still stood the chance of seeing him at least once a week. Away at school with all those miles between us, it felt like I was in another world. It was a torture I never wanted to revisit again.

  I just have to get mom and my stepdad to see that I wouldn’t survive another two or three years without him, they’ll have to understand. I know I’m being a coward but I really wasn’t looking forward to having the talk with them, there was no way of getting around it though I’m afraid. I never wanted to be away from him again, and from what I knew of him, he wasn’t gonna go for the sneaking around bit. It was the only fly in my ointment, what were the parents going to do?

  I pushed that all aside and enjoyed for the one hundredth time that day, the fact that he hadn’t shot me down. I’d put myself out there and it had paid off. Granted I hadn’t meant to say those exact words to get things started, but I was glad now that the truth was out there. I didn’t just want to have a fling with my stepbrother. I wanted to build a life with him. I get butterflies just thinking about it. I can’t believe he said yes.

  Now here I sit, with my parents upstairs getting ready for bed, and my little overnight bag at my feet. And all my hopes and dreams for my future on the table. I heard his car pull up outside and instead of waiting for him to come get me I was out the door before the engine died. I was running towards my future with no regrets.

  He was just climbing out of the driver’s seat when he saw me coming and got out anyway to hold my door open for me. I felt so cherished when he reached in and buckled me in before stealing a quick kiss from my lips. It was the first real kiss we’d ever shared, and small as it was, I felt it down to the soles of my feet, not to mention the little tingle it gave me in my heart.

  He threw my bag in the trunk since his little two-seater didn’t have a backseat, and we were off. For all the bravado I’ve had since my return, I was feeling mighty nervous all of a sudden. It was a task to keep my legs from shaking uncontrollably and his scent wasn’t helping matters any. It was obvious that he’d gone home and cleaned up before coming back for me.

  Not that there was anything wrong with him before, far from it, he was always well put together, like he was ready for a magazine cover shoot. But this new cologne had obviously been made to make women weak and stupid, I’m convinced. I actually had visions of licking his skin and burying my nose in his neck.

  He reached between us and took my hand in his and I almost melted right then and there. Immediately I started having flashbacks, not only to the time I’d seen him au naturel, but also to that one time I’d overheard him in the act. My skin broke out in goose bumps at the memory.

  It was summer and we’d all been home as a family for once for a whole couple of weeks. I was still quite young then, no older than fifteen, I think, and he’d brought home a girl when our parents had gone out to dinner. Instead of bringing her up to the house as was the habit with his friends, I’d caught them sneaking into the guesthouse, so I knew something was up. I’d snuck out and across the backyard with my fast self and got more than I bargained for.

  This was the first time I’d ever let myself think of that night come to think of it. The noises that had come out of that poor girl had scared the hell out of me, until I had peeped through the knot in the door and realized he hadn’t been killing her, and the fact that she was actually encouraging him had registered. I’d ran back to the house and covered my head with the covers all the same, pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to have seen that.

  My mouth ran dry as the memory flashed hot in my minds’ eye. Tonight that girl was going to be me. Will he be as tender as I remember him being with that nameless girl? Was he the same kind of lover he’d been back then, or was he better? The thought that he might be even better made me hyperventilate.

  “Easy-easy.” He squeezed my fingers before lifting them to his lips for a kiss. “It’s going to be okay, I’m gonna take really good care of you tonight.”

  “Only tonig
ht?” I don’t know where I got the gumption to ask him that. “You know better.” What exactly did that mean? I wasn’t brave enough to ask, but please don’t let me die before I got the chance to find out. I think I’m in danger of having heart failure here.

  The rest of the ride was made in silence and the only reason I wasn’t gnawing off my nails was because he had a death grip on one hand, and I was too weak to raise the other. I have no knowledge of the passing scenery and couldn’t tell you who, what, where or why. My whole being was nettled down to this one moment. I never knew what it would be like to be here, on the cusp of realizing my every dream. I wanted to pinch myself, but instead snuck peeks at him out the corner of my eye. He didn’t look to be in much better shape, and somehow that helped to build my confidence. I can do this.

  “We’re here.” He pulled into the underground garage at his place, which was a high-rise luxury apartment downtown. He’d never lived at home after college, choosing instead to move into his own place with some of the inheritance from his mom’s estate. It was only the first year or so after our parents got married that we’d lived under the same roof on those rare occasions that he came home.

  Still, whenever he was in town he’d made it a point to seek me out and we’d done at least one fun thing together, which had only worked to stoke the flames. It was brought home to me as he pulled the key from the ignition, that our lives were about to change. I was stepping into the beginning of the rest of my life. I said a quick silent prayer and let go.

  “You ready baby?” The smile I gave him was answer enough, and he leaned over and tasted my lips gently before pulling back. “Sweet.” That one word went through me like a song, as he climbed out and came around to get me. Please don’t let me fall flat on my face. The things you think about at pivotal moments.