Illicit Read online

  Chapter 5

  Climbing into my truck, I took one last look around, before turning the key in the ignition and pulling out.

  The noise my old clinker made was only slightly less mortifying than I thought it would be, but I consoled myself by turning the music up loud, as I wound my way through the long deserted streets to home.

  There was only one other car on the road behind me and it kept its distance which was good, because I’m way too fond of horror flicks and this place was a hacking waiting to happen.

  I was surprised when it made the turn off to my dad’s street though, because it was a dead end and the only other people here were elderly couples who weren’t into fast James Bond type cars.

  I was even more surprised to see none other than Thorn Azarov behind the wheel, that predatory cat gaze hitting me right between the eyes.

  Why was it that I always forgot how to breathe whenever in his presence? Or how my limbs were supposed to work? Of course I tripped all over my own two feet in front of him like a ninny.

  I lifted my bag higher on my shoulder and pushed my hair back behind my ear, all while looking down at my feet.

  When I picked my head back up, he was still there, with the same look, as if he’d not even blinked.

  He made a slight lifting of the chin gesture towards the front door, as if to say go on inside, so I did. But I couldn’t resist taking one last look back over my shoulder.

  I wish I had the nerve to walk over to that car window and demand the answers to my many questions, but instead, I fumbled the key in the door and only managed to drop them twice, before getting it right.

  Too embarrassed to turn around, I flung myself through the door, dropped my bag and headed for the window on the side.

  Maybe I’ll catch one last glimpse to tide me over until school tomorrow. I’ve now added pathetic to my repertoire.

  He was already gone and I felt the loss like an open wound. Suddenly it felt like the sun had disappeared and the day had lost its color.

  I spent way too much time going over the day’s events in my head over and over again.

  Of course I hurriedly wrote it all down before I forgot just one little detail. When I started dawdling silly hearts with his name in the margins of the page I figured it was time to quit.

  It was bittersweet recalling my every moment with him. I knew there was no way he would ever be mine, and just the thought of the loss, of what would never be, hurt my heart just a little.

  I decided to put it out of my mind best I could and get on with my evening. It was nice while it lasted though.

  I made dinner for my dad and I, which kept my mind occupied for a while. The ringing of the phone around seven that evening, after I’d finished my homework, was a bit of a surprise. I had no friends here and mom and dad contacted me on my cell.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey Jasmine, it’s Mark, you know, from today?”

  “Uh...” What?

  “Yeah, I got the number from the phone book, you know it’s the chief’s number and all so it’s listed. Anyway uh...some of us are going out on a picnic this weekend before the weather changes completely, and I was wondering if you’d you know, like to go with?”

  “Um...” Shoot, what the heck was I supposed to say? I didn’t really have any interest in Mark, and I knew he didn’t really have any in me.

  It was just the new girl thing, let’s see who can bag her first; but neither did I want to alienate anyone my first time here.

  “Um, I’ll have to check with my dad and see if he has anything planned okay?”

  I bit my lip feeling guilty for the lie, but it was the best I could do without coming right out and saying no thanks, not interested.

  “Yeah okay, sure.”

  He didn’t sound too thrilled, but he didn’t push it either. I hung up with the thought of why I’d really wanted to turn him down.

  If I were honest with myself I would own up to holding out for the slight hope that one curly haired heartthrob was going to ask me out.

  The ringing of the phone pulled me out of my reverie; my heart started doing its crazy dance again and I knew who was on the other end of the line. I picked up the receiver a bit hesitantly.

  “Hello.”

  “No.”

  That’s it, that’s all the voice on the other end said before hanging up again; and how did I know whose voice it had been? Because my body true to form where he’s concerned, went into meltdown. I hung up the beeping phone two minutes later, after I’d come back to my senses.

  ***

  Well, I guess Mr. Azarov has laid down the law; all that’s left now is to find a diplomatic way to let Mark down easy without hurting his feelings.

  I’m not even going to question how he knew about the phone call, why bother? Nothing else has made any sense since I looked into my dream’s eyes.

  I flitted around the empty house killing time until my dad came home, which should be any minute now.

  Every five minutes or so I’d gravitate towards a window, in the hopes that beyond the drapes would be a silent Thorn Azarov keeping watch over my house.

  “Fanciful much Jazz?”

  By the time dad arrived I’d given up hope of seeing my mystery man any more for the night.

  I contemplated asking dad about him but thought better of it; that might raise more questions than I was ready to answer or rather had the answers to.

  “So Jazz how was your first day in the belly of the beast?”

  “Dad I wish you wouldn’t call it that, you know you’ll give me a complex if you’re not careful. You’re supposed to be encouraging dad, I read that somewhere.”

  “Uh huh, say what you will, but I’ve been there done that and I’d rather face down a grizzly than walk the hallways of another high school, that place was vicious.”

  “Come on dad it couldn’t have been that bad, I mean you had what, twenty students in the whole school?” I smirked at him when he threw part of his dinner roll at me.

  “Smart ass; well, did you meet anyone interesting huh, tell dad all about it.” He twitched his brows up and down which made me howl with laughter because it just looked so wrong.

  “Nothing to tell dad it was your usual first day for the newbie.” I hoped the heated blush that spread across my face wasn’t a dead giveaway that I was hiding something.

  “What no new girlfriends?”

  He looked hurt that his little girl didn’t make a whole fleet of friends on her first day at her new school.

  “Not to worry dad the other kids didn’t shun me and poke fun, in fact I did meet a few kids. I was even invited to a picnic this weekend.” I stuffed a piece of broccoli in my mouth as I thought of that phone call again.

  “Hey that’s great Jazz. Who all did you meet? I know all the kids in these parts.”

  “Well I met Michelle Sever and Mark Spade and Ian Track.”

  “All nice kids from good families; so where’re you kids going to have this picnic?”

  “Uh, I’m not going.” I stuffed more food in my mouth and pulled my hair forward to hide my eyes.

  “What why not? Aw come on Jazz don’t be shy.”

  “It’s not that dad, it’s...um, I might be doing something else.”

  “Oh yeah like what?”

  I really didn’t want to lie to my dad and besides, I didn’t really know if Azarov wanted to do something.

  “I’m not sure yet dad, when I know I’ll let you know okay, and stop worrying, I’ll make friends when I’m ready.”

  He studied me over his dinner of broiled fish and baby potatoes with broccoli.

  For the past few days since I’ve been here I’d been trying to get him to eat healthier.

  His diet up until now ran to burgers and pie. Now he’s looking at me like one of his suspects in the interrogation room.

  I know he’s worried about me, about my ability to adjust, but the truth is until today, until my strange encounter, I’d been worried too.


  Now I felt...hopeful, like I had something new and exciting to look forward to.

  “Don’t worry dad I’m fine, I promise.” I got up to take my empty plate to the sink kissing his head on the way.

  “By the way I like my new school.”

  I was happy to see the smile of relief that fell across his face, as he turned around to look at me, one less thing for him to worry about.

  I turned on the water in the ancient sink and soaped up the pots and pans I’d used to make dinner.

  Pete’s kitchen might be a throw back to the seventies, but at least it had a sense of home, of permanence and roots.

  Something all of the places Anna had ever dragged me off to had been lacking.

  I felt a pang of sorrow for the mother I’d left behind, the mother I couldn’t save from her self; and with that fleeting touch of sorrow I felt lips caress my brow.

  “You okay over there kiddo?”

  I’d dropped the pot in the sink at the sensation. Turning to my dad I did a quick once over of the kitchen, but there was no one there, no one but my dad and I.

  “Fine, fine dad.” I brushed my hand across my forehead. What is it about this place anyway? There weren’t any legends about the area that I knew of, but there was definitely something ‘other’ going on here.

  “You sure kid, you look a little spooked, what’s going on, you didn’t cut yourself or anything did you?”

  I turned back to the dishes to escape his searching gaze.

  “No dad I’m good, you done?” I hope my voice doesn’t give me away.

  At his yes I walked over and took his plate from in front of him. He was still trying to read my face so I schooled my features, even though I was a bundle of nerves inside.

  “Thanks Jazz that was great, could we have something breaded and fried tomorrow though? In the few days you’ve been here I’ve been eating either rabbit food or something approaching sawdust; my stomach’s about to rebel.”

  I gave him my best pouty face; I knew just how to work him. I wasn’t above playing the prodigal to the limit as long as I got my way in this.

  “Don’t you love me dad?”

  “What why, what kind of a question is that? Of course I love you you’re my daughter.” Good he looked perplexed and flustered.

  “Then why don’t you want to eat healthy so you can be around for a long time?”

  His face was comical and he looked close to tears. It was all I could do not to break out in laughter.

  “Is it really that important to you Jazz?”

  I did my best daddy’s little girl impersonation, complete with nodding head and munching of the lip.

  He muttered something about manipulative females and learning too young, before he sighed long and hard.

  “Fine Jazz, I’ll eat your healthy food, but you have to let me have cherry pie down at the diner at least three nights a week.”

  “One and we’ve got a deal.”

  “Come on Jazz, you can’t expect me to just go cold turkey. I’ve been eating that pie almost everyday since I was a kid.”

  “One and I’ll make you my special peach raspberry pie.”

  “That another one of your health nut recipes?”

  “Dad!”

  “Fine.”

  ***

  We rounded out the night with dad stretched out in front of the tube, while I read one of my classics upstairs in my room.

  Outside, night had fallen early, as was the norm here it seemed. The wind was loud against the windows, as the rain that had been threatening all day seemed to be coming in.

  There was a sense of being cocooned up there in the little room in the old house, like being wrapped in a warm blanket, protected from the outside world.

  I’d grown rather fanciful in the few days I’d been here. I think it was because I somehow reconciled this town with the places I’d read about in my old classics.

  Or maybe because it bore remnants of my dreams! Whatever the case, I loved the feeling of finally being settled.

  “Night dad.” I yelled down the stairs to him after cleaning up in the bathroom. I couldn’t wait to go to sleep so I could wake up and go to school again tomorrow.

  And maybe tonight I would dream a little dream of him. Warmth enveloped me at the thought as I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over me.

  Listening to the whistling wind and the soft rain against the eaves, I fell into sleep with the feel of a soft kiss against my brow.

  I slept like a log and couldn’t remember my dreams, or if I’d even had one, though I felt more, well rested than I ever had before.

  I spent an inordinate amount of time getting dressed this morning. I tried to convince myself that there was no special reason behind it, but who was I kidding?

  I even contemplated face paint, which was a sure sign that I’d lost my mind. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Probably put my damn eye out with a mascara wand.

  Dad eyed me up and down as I got breakfast ready and I held my breath hoping he didn’t say anything.

  “You do something different with your eyes there Jazz?” Now he was squinting at me as I took my seat across from him.

  “No, like what?”

  “I don’t know you look…different this morning.” I have no idea what he’s talking about.

  Maybe it was the fresh coat of blush pink lip-gloss I’d applied for the first time in my life.

  Or maybe those extra strokes of the brush had added some life to my waterfall of sable colored hair.

  He dropped the subject, for which I was eternally grateful, as he turned his attention to his oatmeal or horse food as he so eloquently referred to it when I put it down in front of him. “I haven’t eaten this swill since I was a boy.”

  “Nag, nag, nag. Eat it, it’s good for your heart and cholesterol and all that good stuff.” He’s a petulant two-year old in a grown man’s body I swear.

  He grilled me about school until it was time to leave. I think he was really worried about me fitting in and making new friends, as if my failure to do that would be on him.

  I guess only time would put his mind at ease. It can’t be easy for him trying to live with his teenage daughter after years of being apart and being almost strangers to each other.

  He seemed dead set on making up for lost time, which I couldn’t blame him for. We’d both missed out on a lot over the years.

  I headed off to school with a tummy full of excitement and butterflies. Would I see him in my rear view, or will he be on the school grounds with the other kids?

  Will he say anything to me today, or will he stay the strong silent type? The possibilities were too many to count.

  All I know is that seeing him again in the flesh was about all I could think about.

  Today was a little different in that that Michelle girl actually met me at my truck.

  The rest of the scene was pretty much the same as the day before, with kids sectioned off according to their cliques, doing their thing.

  Jane, as Michelle had informed me was the cheerleader’s name, was still shooting daggers at me, but this time she seemed to have reinforcements. There was another blonde looker who dismissed me with a look and a flick of her hair. Cold.

  “So, Jasmine, I hear Mark invited you out to the bluffs for our little picnic this weekend.”

  “Um yeah, but I cant go though I’m sorry.”

  “What why?”

  Was that a Havenhurst thing? That’s the same thing dad had said.

  “Something came up.” Or someone anyway!

  “Ooh, is that something one Thorn Azarov?” She grabbed my hand and looked at me expectantly.

  “What, no, where did you ever get an idea like that?” My face was fire red by now I’m sure and her question only made me question myself even more.

  She looked a little put out but didn’t say anything more about it, which was just as well, because I wouldn’t know what to tell her anyway.

  “Well, you better watch out for Jane
and Sara anyway.” She looked towards the two blonde girls who seemed to be clocking our every move, from the stairs leading into the school.

  I was listening to Michelle, but my eyes were busy scanning the lot for the car that had followed me home the day before.

  “Looking for anyone I know?” she had that sly grin on her face again and I wished I wasn’t being so obvious.

  “What? No” I’m sure my face was on fire as she looked at me and laughed.

  “You can’t lie for shit new girl, he’s not here by the way.”

  “Who?” As if I didn’t know. From the time the words left her lips my heart confirmed them as truth.

  “Mr. Delish; us girls hang around every morning with the hopes that he’ll notice us. He comes at the same time everyday, except today he was a no show.”

  I felt empty and alone all of a sudden. Like that feeling you get when the sun disappears behind a cloud on a bright sunny day.

  I didn’t feel that swell of anticipation anymore, in fact I felt like a balloon that someone had stuck a pin in and deflated all of the air.

  Chapter 6

  I went through the motions that day and the next when he failed to show once again. By day three I was pissed, why would he tell me I couldn’t go with Mark if he wasn’t interested?

  It didn’t make any sense at all. No one gave me any explanation for his sudden disappearance, and I wasn’t about to draw any more attention to myself by asking.

  “So Jazz, Michelle tells me you’re not coming with us this weekend, sure we can’t change your mind?” Jane appeared at my side out of nowhere.

  I never know what to do in these situations, when someone obviously hates you on sight, but then for some unknown reason, well unknown to you anyway; they start up a conversation out of nowhere.

  “Um.” I had to think about this, I mean, whatever feelings he might’ve had had been fleeting obviously, since he’d up and left without saying a word.

  Besides, accepting the invitation might get my dad off my back, where he’s been the last few days.

  It maybe had to do with the fact that I’d been moping around the house for the better part of a week, like I’d lost my best friend. It was worst, I felt like I’d lost a limb.